In Loving Memory...

First off, thanks so much to all my wonderful friends and family who left comments on my last post. I appreciate everything that was said. Thanks for being there for me!

It has been almost a month since my grandpa has passed away. I am still having a really hard time with it. I don't know how to get my feelings out, until it just builds up, and all I do is cry. I still have been extremely sad lately. I think Josh and I need to go to the temple. No more excuses.
I have been working on this post for the past 2 weeks. I am not sure how to put into words my feelings. I have been reading other family members blogs that have been tributing my grandpa, and I cant think of anything more to say about him. I am truly blessed with such an amazing family. Since going to the hospital and saying our good-bye's to our wonderful Grandfather, and being there for each other as a shoulder to cry on and give support to during the funeral we have all grown so close to each other.
I love that we were all able to sit around his house, with our Nana and mom's and reminisce about all the memories we had with Grandpa. We looked at pictures, made jokes, and celebrated his life! That would have been how Grandpa wanted it to be. Lots of love and smiles around his home.
I think the most memorable, yet hardest part of Grandpa's funeral was when all the grand kids got up and shared a memory of Grandpa, and what we would miss the most about him. We all loved him so much. He will be missed so much!
Josh was saying a few nights ago as we were talking about Grandpa, that the night we left the hospital, the same night as he passed, Josh went and talked to Grandpa and Grandpa took his hand and with all his strength gave Josh the best hand shake he could. I remember Grandpa trying so hard to express to all of his grand kids how much he loved each and every one of us, but because he was so weak he had a hard time speaking. Even though he was too weak to say it, he showed it in many other ways.
I love you so much Grandpa. I know that you will be missed here on Earth, but we will see you again. Maybe not as soon as we all would like, but we will. Teach me and Josh's children everything you know... Your strong testimony of the gospel, going to church, and paying tithing; how to love unconditionally; that family is everything in the end its all you've got; your famous whistle; your adventurous spirit... and so much more! I think you can leave the stubbornness up in Heaven with you though! :) Between me and Josh, I think we have got it covered! I'll make sure I tell any future great-grand daughters, " To keep their legs closed!" See you soon, Gramps! Love you so so so much!

lately...

i hate the feeling of not being accepted because i dont have a baby, or i'm not pregnant.

lately life has caught up to me, and i have been feeling a little sad. josh tries to understand, but sometimes i just cant explain it. i hate crying. i am not a crier by nature. and lately i have cried over too many stupid things. but at the same time, i have cried over a major thing that is happening in my life.

i feel like i am loosing all my friends one by one. but i am lucky enough to have married my BEST FRIEND. i am lucky enough to have him by my side all the time. he is so great to me. i love him so much! he is my rock.

i am not writing this post to get sympathy from people. i just need to get my feelings out, and i figured this is the best way to do so. sometimes i am at a loss of words, and things to say to people. i hope i havent offended anyone in anyway shape or form. i apoologize if i have.

yesterday morning, i got news that my grandpa, who was diagnosed with lung cancer back in Oct., was admitted to the hospital. he is weak. i think the end is coming. quicker than we all thought. i am sad to know that none of mine and josh's children will know him. he is a great man! he is so strong! my hero. i love him so much!

when josh and i got married towards the end of our reception my grandpa wanted to dance with me. luckily our videographers where there and were able to capture this moment. i am going to charish that video, and the few pictures from that forever!

oh panda... you know me so well

Birthday Bash!

On Saturday, it was my sister Aryn's 17th birthday. We celebrated it without her. :) She decided to ditch her own party and hang out with friends. (I think I have done that a few times growing up! It happens to the best of us.) We went to Olive Garden with Nana and Grandpa, Bekah, mom and dad, and obviously me and Josh. Courtney and her beau, Jake, met us there. It was a yummy dinner, even though one of the waiters would give me a plate, and 5 seconds later he took it away (Maybe he was trying to tell me the unlimited salad and bread sticks actually does have a limit!). We had a wonderful time chatting about "The Jersey Shore", Nana finally retiring, and wonderful memories we share. It is always a good time when we go out... Sometimes we get a little loud, but its always a good time!

After we had dinner, we went and watched "Tooth Fairy" (You know, the kid movie with THE ROCK). It was my second time seeing it. It is so good! I love it. Its so funny! (In a 5 year old immature way) The funniest part of the whole night though, and you can ask Josh-he was crying cause he was laughing so hard-was when my mom knocked over the $6 bucket of popcorn, and my sister Bekah tried to grab it mid-air to save it! Even funnier though, before the movie even started, Courtney knocked over her and Jake's $6 bucket of popcorn. There was popcorn flying the whole movie from G section at the movies. Again, such a good time and we even got a little loud! (No surprise!)

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, was my mom's birthday. Everyone piled over to our house. I told my mom Josh and I would make dinner for the family, so she could have a day were she did nothing! We had chicken parmesan, spaghetti, bread, and some yummy salad. After dinner we busted out Madagascar Karts on the xbox, watched about 20 minutes of the game, and decided to watch "UP".

What a fun filled birthday weekend!

I love you mom so much and am so thankful to have been raised by such a great lady! You are truly amazing!

I love you too Aryn, you are such a good sister! :) Thanks for always being willing to do anything!Mom, Bekah, and Dad. At my 21st Birthday party. No, they dont always wear sweet side ponies, and overalls! :)

L to R: Aryn, Me, Courtney, and Bekah. In Chicago 2008 at the Planetariam.

lucky in love.

I have found someone who does whatever it takes to make me smile. :)

Someone who challenges me daily to be happier than I was the day before.

Someone who knows me inside and out.

Someone who smiles while I laugh hysterically at my own jokes.

Someone who lets me do whatever I want, no matter how off-the-wall it may be.

Someone who knows that as soon as I have a little 'tude, can find me food faster than he can spot the tool section at Home Depot.

Someone who cleans out the fridge, cause the smell makes me sick.

Someone who is just as silly as I am.

Someone who loves the same cheesy TV shows as I do.

Someone who says "I Love You" every time he gets off the phone with me, even when I make him so frustrated.

Someone who in my darkest hours he is still here to hold my hand and walk through it with me.

I am so lucky to have found someone who loves me for me, and not for what he wants me to be.

Happy Christmas!

The whole gang!

LtoR: Maddi, Bekah, Mike, Moni, Uncle Dean, Auntie Brenda, Mallory, Aryn, Nana, Grandpa, Dad, Mom, Makinzee, Courtney, Josh, & Me!

My Auntie Breanda, Mom, Nana, & Grandpa
All the Men! Oh, plus Nana!

The whole entire Duncan Family got together Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after Christmas. It was so "MAGICAL".
We had so much fun; playing games, watching movies, painting fingernails, opening presents, having traditions, and most of all just having fun!
Christmas morning we all woke up, went upstairs and waited for everyone else to wake up, and went back to the basement to open presents. It was so fun to see everyone so excited to see what they got, and what Santa brought!
Mallory had a wonderful idea to make mix CD's for everyone in the family. The #1 song on all the CD's and the last song on all the CD's was the same. The first track is Kris Allen, "Live Like We're Dying", and the last track is Michael McLean, "We Will be Together Forever".
I am so thankful that this year I was able to be with my ENTIRE family for Christmas. It was so nice to get everyone together. We had so much fun, and we will have so many memories from this Christmas.
Thanks to my entire family for making this a Christmas to remember!

Whirlwind!

I know its been forever since I have last blogged! Like, we're talking months! The past few weeks have been such a whirl wind (hence, the blog title!), I took my last final today. Which is such a relief. I didnt think that I would be anymore happy for school to get over than I was this semester!

I cant believe Christmas is right around the corner! I was listening to Christmas music in my car, and Josh got in, and was like, "its too early to listen to Christmas music." Whatever! Christmas is like NEXT week!

I love this time of year! We get to refelct back on everything that has happened the past year! I am so thankful to live in such a beautiful place. I have everything I need; a loving family, a wonderful husband, my health, a house, a car, I could go on and on. But more importantly, my grandparents. Life has changed alot lately, and I am not sure how much longer I can say I still have both sets of grandparents living! I cant express my love for my family at this time, especially my mom. I cant wait for Christmas in Tooele with EVERYONE, cousins, aunt and uncle, sisters, parents, husband, maybe even dogs! :)

Sorry I dont have any pictures or anything, and this is just a ramble, but I just want my family to know how much I love them, and how thankful I am for them!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!