a year later

i love this song! it makes me tear up every time i hear it. the words express what i can't.
Justin Moore, If Heaven Wasn't so Far Away:
"... And what I wouldn't give
To ride around in that old truck with him
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away..."


Today marks the one year anniversary of grandpa passing.
What a year it has been!! We have grown so much as a family!

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i miss grandpa everyday. i think i just expected grieving to be easier. its not. i am lucky enough to have married a wonderful man, who understands me in every way. as the year has gone by, i find myself noticing older men who remind me of my grandpa; whether they look like him, talk like him, smell like him, cough like him...
i don't think it will be any easier to go to my nana's house and not seeing grandpa sitting in his chair. i don't think it will be any easier to go to dinner at Sizzler and grandpa not joining, i don't think it will be any easier to go four wheeling and grandpa not coming.
i do know that when josh and i have our own children they will have known grandpa personally and he would have taught them everything they needed to know before they came to earth. i do know that grandpa is watching over josh when he is jumping his four wheeler so he doesn't get hurt. i do know that i will one day be able to see my grandpa again!