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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

lately...

i hate the feeling of not being accepted because i dont have a baby, or i'm not pregnant.

lately life has caught up to me, and i have been feeling a little sad. josh tries to understand, but sometimes i just cant explain it. i hate crying. i am not a crier by nature. and lately i have cried over too many stupid things. but at the same time, i have cried over a major thing that is happening in my life.

i feel like i am loosing all my friends one by one. but i am lucky enough to have married my BEST FRIEND. i am lucky enough to have him by my side all the time. he is so great to me. i love him so much! he is my rock.
i am not writing this post to get sympathy from people. i just need to get my feelings out, and i figured this is the best way to do so. sometimes i am at a loss of words, and things to say to people. i hope i havent offended anyone in anyway shape or form. i apoologize if i have.

yesterday morning, i got news that my grandpa, who was diagnosed with lung cancer back in Oct., was admitted to the hospital. he is weak. i think the end is coming. quicker than we all thought. i am sad to know that none of mine and josh's children will know him. he is a great man! he is so strong! my hero. i love him so much!

when josh and i got married towards the end of our reception my grandpa wanted to dance with me. luckily our videographers where there and were able to capture this moment. i am going to charish that video, and the few pictures from that forever!